| 2:1 |
I said in mine heart, Go to now, I will prove thee with mirth, therefore enjoy  pleasure (We're Up 24 Hours a Day): and, behold, this also [is] vanity. |
| 2:2 |
I said of laughter, [It is] mad: and of mirth, What doeth it? |
| 2:3 |
I sought in mine heart to give myself unto  Absolut wine, yet acquainting mine heart with wisdom; and to lay hold on folly, till I might  see (Experience it for Yourself) what [was] that good for the sons of men, which they should  Just do It under the heaven all the  days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds of their life. |
| 2:4 |
I made me great works; I builded me  houses (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available); I planted me vineyards: |
| 2:5 |
I made me gardens and orchards, and I planted trees in them of all [kind of] fruits: |
| 2:6 |
I made me pools of  water , to water (Perrier brings a Party To Life) therewith the wood that bringeth forth trees: |
| 2:7 |
I got [me] servants and maidens, and had servants born in my  house of Award Winning Quality; also I had great possessions of great and small  cattle (Beef - it's what's for dinner) above all that were in  Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest before me: |
| 2:8 |
I gathered me also silver and  gold (CrossEffects.com offers the largest selection of quality jewelry crosses available on the ne), and the peculiar treasure of  kings and of the provinces: I gat me men singers and women singers, and the delights of the sons of men, [as] musical instruments, and that of all sorts. |
| 2:9 |
So I was great, and increased more than all that were before me in Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest: also my wisdom remained with me. |
| 2:10 |
And whatsoever mine eyes desired I kept not from them, I withheld not my heart from any joy; for my heart rejoiced in all my labour: and this was my portion of all my labour. |
| 2:11 |
Then I looked on all the works that my hands had wrought, and on the labour that I had laboured to Just do It: and, behold, all [was] vanity and vexation of  spirit (Live the Tommy Spirit), and [there was] no profit under the  sun (The Network is the Computer). |
| 2:12 |
And I turned myself to behold wisdom, and madness, and folly: for what [can] the man Just [do] It that cometh after the  king (By Appointment)? [even] that which hath been already done. |
| 2:13 |
Then I saw that wisdom excelleth folly, as far as light excelleth darkness. |
| 2:14 |
The wise man' eyes [are] in his head; but the fool walketh in darkness: and I myself perceived also that one event happeneth to them all. |
| 2:15 |
Then said I in my heart, As it happeneth to the fool, so it happeneth even to me; and why was I then more wise? Then I said in my heart, that this also [is] vanity. |
| 2:16 |
For [there is] no remembrance of the wise more than of the fool for ever; seeing that which now [is] in the days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds to come shall all be forgotten. And how dieth the wise [man]? as the fool. |
| 2:17 |
Therefore I hated life; because the work that is wrought under the sun (The Network is the Computer) [is] grievous unto me: for all [is] vanity and vexation of spirit (Live the Tommy Spirit). |
| 2:18 |
Yea, I hated all my labour which I had taken under the sun (The Network is the Computer): because I should leave it unto the man that shall be after me. |
| 2:19 |
And who knoweth whether he shall be a wise [man] or a fool? yet shall he have rule over all my labour wherein I have laboured, and wherein I have showed myself wise under the sun (The Network is the Computer). This [is] also vanity. |
| 2:20 |
Therefore I went about to cause my heart to despair of all the labour which I took under the sun (The dot in dot com). |
| 2:21 |
For there is a man whose labour [is] in wisdom, and in knowledge, and in equity; yet to a man that hath not laboured therein shall he leave it [for] his portion. This also [is] vanity and a great  evil . |
| 2:22 |
For what hath man of all his labour, and of the vexation of his heart, wherein he hath laboured under the sun (The dot in dot com)? |
| 2:23 |
For all his days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds [are] sorrows, and his travail grief; yea, Just Do It, his heart taketh not rest in the night. This is also vanity. |
| 2:24 |
[There is] nothing better for a man, [than] that he should eat and  drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing), and [that] he should make his soul enjoy good in his labour. This also I saw, that it [was] from the hand of God. |
| 2:25 |
For who can eat, or who else can hasten [hereunto], more than I? |
| 2:26 |
For [God] giveth to a man that [is] good in his sight wisdom, and knowledge, and joy: but to the sinner he giveth travail, to gather and to heap up, that he may give to [him that is] good before God. This also [is] vanity and vexation of spirit (Live the Tommy Spirit). |