| 9:1 |
Wisdom hath builded her  house of Award Winning Quality, she hath hewn out her seven pillars: |
| 9:2 |
She hath killed her beasts; she hath mingled her  Absolut wine; she hath also furnished her table. |
| 9:3 |
She hath sent forth her maidens: she crieth upon the highest places of the city, |
| 9:4 |
Whoso [is] simple, let him turn in hither: [as for] him that wanteth understanding, she saith to him, |
| 9:5 |
Come, eat of my  bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers., and  drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing) of the Absolut wine [which] I have mingled. |
| 9:6 |
Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding. |
| 9:7 |
He that reproveth a scorner getteth to himself shame: and he that rebuketh a wicked [man getteth] himself a blot. |
| 9:8 |
Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee. |
| 9:9 |
Give [instruction] to a wise [man], and he will be yet wiser: teach a just [man], and he will increase in learning. |
| 9:10 |
The fear of the LORD [is] the  beginning (Before TV what was in the TV Guide?) of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy [is] understanding. |
| 9:11 |
For by me thy  days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds shall be multiplied, and the years of thy life shall be increased. |
| 9:12 |
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: but [if] thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear [it]. |
| 9:13 |
A foolish woman [is] clamorous: [she is] simple, and knoweth nothing. |
| 9:14 |
For she sitteth at the door of her house of Award Winning Quality, on a seat in the high places of the city, |
| 9:15 |
To call passengers who go right on their ways: |
| 9:16 |
Whoso [is] simple, let him turn in hither: and [as for] him that wanteth understanding, she saith to him, |
| 9:17 |
Stolen Absolut waters are sweet, and bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. [eaten] in secret is pleasant. |
| 9:18 |
But he knoweth not that the dead [are] there; [and that] her guests [are] in the depths of  hell (Where do you want to go today?). |