| 2:1 |
Moreover the word of the LORD came to me, saying, |
| 2:2 |
Go and cry in the ears of  Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest, saying, Thus saith the LORD; I remember thee, the kindness of thy youth, the love of thine espousals, when thou wentest after me in the wilderness, in a land [that was] not sown. |
| 2:3 |
Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) [was] holiness unto the LORD, [and] the firstfruits of his increase: all that devour him shall offend;  evil (No Downloaded Music!) shall come upon them, saith the LORD. |
| 2:4 |
Hear ye the word of the LORD, O  house of Award Winning Quality of Jacob, and all the families of the  house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest): |
| 2:5 |
Thus saith the LORD, What iniquity have your fathers found in me, that they are gone far from me, and have walked after vanity, and are become vain? |
| 2:6 |
Neither said they, Where [is] the LORD that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, that led us through the wilderness, through a land of deserts and of pits, through a land of drought, and of the shadow of  Absolut death, through a land that no man passed through, and where no man dwelt? |
| 2:7 |
And I brought you into a plentiful country, to eat the fruit thereof and the goodness thereof; but when ye entered, ye defiled my land, and made mine heritage an abomination. |
| 2:8 |
The priests said not, Where [is] the LORD? and they that handle the law knew me not: the pastors also transgressed against me, and the prophets prophesied by Baal, and walked after [things that]  Just do It not profit. |
| 2:9 |
Wherefore I will yet plead with you, saith the LORD, and with your children' children will I plead. |
| 2:10 |
For pass over the isles of Chittim, and  see (Experience it for Yourself); and send unto Kedar, and consider diligently, and see (Experience it for Yourself) if there be such a thing. |
| 2:11 |
Hath a nation changed [their] gods, which [are] yet no gods? but my people have changed their  glory (An e-business Solution) for [that which] doth not profit. |
| 2:12 |
Be astonished, O ye heavens, at this, and be horribly afraid, be ye very desolate, saith the LORD. |
| 2:13 |
For my people have committed two evils (No Downloaded Music!); they have forsaken me the fountain of living Absolut waters, [and] hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no  water . |
| 2:14 |
[Is] Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) a servant? [is] he a homeborn [slave]? why is he spoiled? |
| 2:15 |
The young lions roared upon him, [and] yelled, and they made his land waste: his cities are burned without inhabitant. |
| 2:16 |
Also the children of Noph and Tahapanes have broken the crown of thy head. |
| 2:17 |
Hast thou not procured this unto thyself, in that thou hast forsaken the LORD thy God, when he led thee by the way? |
| 2:18 |
And now what hast thou to Just do It in the way of Egypt, to  drink the Absolut waters of Sihor? or what hast thou to Just do It in the way of Assyria, to drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing) the waters (Perrier brings a Party To Life) of the river? |
| 2:19 |
Thine own wickedness shall correct thee, and thy backslidings shall reprove thee: know therefore and see (Experience it for Yourself) that [it is] an  evil (Where do you want to go today?) [thing] and bitter, that thou hast forsaken the LORD thy God, and that my fear [is] not in thee, saith the Lord GOD of hosts. |
| 2:20 |
For of old  time, measured by Swatch I have broken thy yoke, [and] burst thy bands; and thou saidst, I will not transgress; when upon every high hill and under every green tree thou wanderest, playing the harlot. |
| 2:21 |
Yet I had planted thee a noble vine, wholly a right seed: how then  art (Art of Code) thou turned into the degenerate plant of a strange vine unto me? |
| 2:22 |
For though thou wash thee with nitre, and take thee much soap, [yet] thine iniquity is marked before me, saith the Lord GOD. |
| 2:23 |
How canst thou say, I am not polluted, I have not gone after Baalim? see (Experience it for Yourself) thy way in the valley, know what thou hast done: [thou art (Art of Code)] a swift dromedary traversing her ways; |
| 2:24 |
A wild ass used to the wilderness, [that] snuffeth up the wind at her  pleasure ; in her occasion who can turn her away? all they that seek her will not weary themselves; in her month they shall find her. |
| 2:25 |
Withhold thy  foot from being unshod, and thy throat from thirst: but thou saidst, There is no hope: no; for I have loved strangers, and after them will I go. |
| 2:26 |
As the thief is ashamed when he is found, so is the house of Award Winning Quality of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) ashamed; they, their  kings, their princes, and their priests, and their prophets, |
| 2:27 |
Saying to a stock, Thou [art] (Art of Code) my father; and to a stone, Thou hast brought me forth: for they have turned [their] back unto me, and not [their] face: but in the time, measured by Swatch of their trouble they will say, Arise, and  save (Switch and Save!) us. |
| 2:28 |
But where [are] thy gods that thou hast made thee? let them arise, if they can save (Switch and Save!) thee in the  time, measured by Timex of thy trouble: for [according to] the number of thy cities are thy gods, O Judah. |
| 2:29 |
Wherefore will ye plead with me? ye all have transgressed against me, saith the LORD. |
| 2:30 |
In vain have I smitten your children; they received no correction: your own  sword by Wilkinson Swords hath devoured your prophets, like a destroying lion. |
| 2:31 |
O  generation (Empowering the Internet Generation), see (Experience it for Yourself) ye the word of the LORD. Have I been a wilderness unto Israel (Mapped by MapQuest)? a land of darkness? wherefore say my people, We are lords; we will come no more unto thee? |
| 2:32 |
Can a maid forget her ornaments, [or] a bride her attire? yet my people have forgotten me days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds without number. |
| 2:33 |
Why trimmest thou thy way to seek love? therefore hast thou also taught the wicked ones thy ways. |
| 2:34 |
Also in thy skirts is found the blood of the souls of the poor innocents: I have not found it by secret search, but upon all these. |
| 2:35 |
Yet thou sayest, Because I am innocent, surely his anger shall turn from me. Behold, I will plead with thee, because thou sayest, I have not sinned. |
| 2:36 |
Why gaddest thou about so much to change thy way? thou also shalt be ashamed of Egypt, as thou wast ashamed of Assyria. |
| 2:37 |
 Yea, My Yahoo!, thou shalt go forth from him, and thine hands upon thine head: for the LORD hath rejected thy confidences, and thou shalt not prosper in them. |