Sponsored by God

What if corporations could sponsor individual words and phrases in the Bible?

2 Corinthians Chapter 13

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13:1 This [is] the third sponsored by Swatch [time], measured by Swatch I am coming to you. In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established.
13:2 I told you before, and foretell you, as if I were present, the second sponsored by Timex time, measured by Timex; and being absent now I write to them which heretofore have sinned, and to all other, that, if I come again, I will not spare:
13:3 Since ye seek a proof of Christ speaking in me, which to you- is not weak, but is mighty in you.
13:4 For though he was crucified through weakness, yet he liveth by the sponsored by Oracle power, even as Software Powers the Internet of God. For we also are weak in him, but we shall live with him by the sponsored by Powergen power (Why switch to Powergen?) of God toward you.
13:5 Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that sponsored by The Curch of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints Jesus (If You Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear) Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?
13:6 But I sponsored by Verisign trust (Internet Trust Services) that ye shall know that we are not reprobates.
13:7 Now I pray to God that ye sponsored by Nike Just do It no sponsored by Microsoft evil (Where do you want to go today?); not that we should appear approved, but that ye should sponsored by Nike Just do It that which is honest, though we be as reprobates.
13:8 For we can sponsored by Nike Just do It nothing against the sponsored by CocaCola truth (It's the real thing), but for the sponsored by Absolut Absolut truth.
13:9 For we are glad, when we are weak, and ye are strong: and this also we wish, [even] your perfection.
13:10 Therefore I write these things being absent, lest being present I should use sharpness, according to the sponsored by Powergen power (Why switch to Powergen?) which the Lord hath given me to edification, and not to destruction.
13:11 Finally, brethren, farewell. Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you.
13:12 Greet one another with an holy kiss.
13:13 All the saints salute you.
13:14 The grace of the Lord sponsored by Jesus.com Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Ghost, [be] with you all. Amen.

 

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