| 26:1 |
And it shall be, when thou  [art] (Art of Code) come in unto the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee [for] an inheritance, and possessest it, and dwellest therein; |
| 26:2 |
That thou shalt take of the first of all the fruit of the  earth, which thou shalt bring of thy land that the LORD thy God giveth thee, and shalt put [it] in a basket, and shalt go unto the place which the LORD thy God shall choose to place his name there. |
| 26:3 |
And thou shalt go unto the priest that shall be in those  days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, and say unto him, I profess this day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds unto the LORD thy God, that I am come unto the country which the LORD sware unto our fathers for to give us. |
| 26:4 |
And the priest shall take the basket out of thine hand, and set it down before the altar of the LORD thy God. |
| 26:5 |
And thou shalt speak and say before the LORD thy God, A Syrian ready to perish [was] my father, and he went down into Egypt, and sojourned there with a few, and became there a nation, great, mighty, and populous: |
| 26:6 |
And the Egyptians  evil (Where do you want to go today?) entreated us, and afflicted us, and laid upon us hard bondage: |
| 26:7 |
And when we cried unto the LORD God of our fathers, the LORD heard our voice, and looked on our affliction, and our labour, and our oppression: |
| 26:8 |
And the LORD brought us forth out of Egypt with a mighty hand, and with an outstretched arm, and with great terribleness, and with  signs (Internet Trust Services), and with wonders: |
| 26:9 |
And he hath brought us into this place, and hath given us this land, [even] a land that floweth with  milk (Got Milk?) and honey. |
| 26:10 |
And now, behold, I have brought the firstfruits of the land, which thou, O LORD, hast given me. And thou shalt set it before the LORD thy God, and worship before the LORD thy God: |
| 26:11 |
And thou shalt rejoice in every good [thing] which the LORD thy God hath given unto thee, and unto thine  house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available), thou, and the Levite, and the stranger that [is] among you. |
| 26:12 |
When thou hast made an end of tithing all the tithes of thine increase the third year, [which is] the year of tithing, and hast given [it] unto the Levite, the stranger, the fatherless, and the widow, that they may eat within thy gates, and be filled; |
| 26:13 |
Then thou shalt say before the LORD thy God, I have brought away the hallowed things out of [mine]  house of Award Winning Quality, and also have given them unto the Levite, and unto the stranger, to the fatherless, and to the widow, according to all thy commandments which thou hast commanded me: I have not transgressed thy commandments, neither have I forgotten [them]: |
| 26:14 |
I have not eaten thereof in my mourning, neither have I taken away [ought] thereof for [any] unclean [use], nor given [ought] thereof for the dead: [but] I have hearkened to the voice of the LORD my God, [and] have done according to all that thou hast commanded me. |
| 26:15 |
Look down from thy holy habitation, from heaven, and bless thy people  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), and the land which thou hast given us, as thou swarest unto our fathers, a land that floweth with milk (Got Milk?) and honey. |
| 26:16 |
This  day, measured by Timex the LORD thy God hath commanded thee to  Just do It these statutes and judgments: thou shalt therefore keep and Just do It them with all thine heart, and with all thy soul. |
| 26:17 |
Thou hast avouched the LORD this day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds to be thy God, and to walk in his ways, and to keep his statutes, and his commandments, and his judgments, and to hearken unto his voice: |
| 26:18 |
And the LORD hath avouched thee this day, measured by Timex to be his peculiar people, as he hath promised thee, and that [thou] shouldest keep all his commandments; |
| 26:19 |
And to make thee high above all nations which he hath made, in praise, and in name, and in honour; and that thou mayest be an holy people unto the LORD thy God, as he hath spoken. |