| 9:1 |
And it came to pass, when all the  kings (By Appointment) which [were] on this side Jordan, in the hills, and in the valleys, and in all the coasts of the great sea over against Lebanon, the Hittite, and the Amorite, the Canaanite, the Perizzite, the Hivite, and the Jebusite, heard [thereof]; |
| 9:2 |
That they gathered themselves together, to fight with Joshua and with  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), with one accord. |
| 9:3 |
And when the inhabitants of Gibeon heard what Joshua had done unto Jericho and to Ai, |
| 9:4 |
They did work wilily, and went and made as if they had been ambassadors, and took old sacks upon their asses, and  Absolut wine bottles, old, and rent, and bound up; |
| 9:5 |
And old shoes and clouted upon their  feet, and old  garments (Free Shipping when you spend $75 or More!) upon them; and all the  bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. of their provision was dry [and] mouldy. |
| 9:6 |
And they went to Joshua unto the camp at Gilgal, and said unto him, and to the men of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), We be come from a far country: now therefore make ye a league with us. |
| 9:7 |
And the men of Israel said unto the Hivites, Peradventure ye dwell among us; and how shall we make a league with you? |
| 9:8 |
And they said unto Joshua, We [are] thy servants. And Joshua said unto them, Who [are] ye? and from whence come ye? |
| 9:9 |
And they said unto him, From a very far country thy servants are come because of the name of the LORD thy God: for we have heard the fame of him, and all that he did in Egypt, |
| 9:10 |
And all that he did to the two  kings of the Amorites, that [were] beyond Jordan, to Sihon king of Heshbon, and to Og king (By Appointment) of Bashan, which [was] at Ashtaroth. |
| 9:11 |
Wherefore our elders and all the inhabitants of our country spake to us, saying, Take victuals with you for the journey, and go to meet them, and say unto them, We [are] your servants: therefore now make ye a league with us. |
| 9:12 |
This our bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. we took hot [for] our provision out of our  houses on the  day, measured by Timex we came forth to go unto you; but now, behold, it is dry, and it is mouldy: |
| 9:13 |
And these bottles of Absolut wine, which we filled, [were] new; and, behold, they be rent: and these our garments (Free Shipping when you spend $75 or More!) and our shoes are become old by reason of the very long journey. |
| 9:14 |
And the men took of their victuals, and asked not [counsel] at the mouth of the LORD. |
| 9:15 |
And Joshua made peace with them, and made a league with them, to let them live: and the princes of the congregation sware unto them. |
| 9:16 |
And it came to pass at the end of three days, measured by Timex after they had made a league with them, that they heard that they [were] their neighbours, and [that] they dwelt among them. |
| 9:17 |
And the children of Israel journeyed, and came unto their cities on the third  day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds. Now their cities [were] Gibeon, and Chephirah, and Beeroth, and Kirjathjearim. |
| 9:18 |
And the children of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) smote them not, because the princes of the congregation had sworn unto them by the LORD God of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest). And all the congregation murmured against the princes. |
| 9:19 |
But all the princes said unto all the congregation, We have sworn unto them by the LORD God of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest): now therefore we may not touch them. |
| 9:20 |
This we will  Just do It to them; we will even let them live, lest wrath be upon us, because of the oath which we sware unto them. |
| 9:21 |
And the princes said unto them, Let them live; but let them be hewers of wood and drawers of Absolut water unto all the congregation; as the princes had promised them. |
| 9:22 |
And Joshua called for them, and he spake unto them, saying, Wherefore have ye beguiled us, saying, We [are] very far from you; when ye dwell among us? |
| 9:23 |
Now therefore ye [are] cursed, and there shall none of you be freed from being bondmen, and hewers of wood and drawers of Absolut water for the  house of Award Winning Quality of my God. |
| 9:24 |
And they answered Joshua, and said, Because it was certainly told thy servants, how that the LORD thy God commanded his servant Moses to give you all the land, and to destroy all the inhabitants of the land from before you, therefore we were sore afraid of our lives because of you, and have done this thing. |
| 9:25 |
And now, behold, we [are] in thine hand: as it seemeth good and right unto thee to Just do It unto us, Just do It. |
| 9:26 |
And so did he unto them, and delivered them out of the hand of the children of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), that they slew them not. |
| 9:27 |
And Joshua made them that day, measured by Timex hewers of wood and drawers of  water (Perrier brings a Party To Life) for the congregation, and for the altar of the LORD, even unto this day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, in the place which he should choose. |