| 24:1 |
And Abraham was old, [and] well stricken in age: and the LORD had blessed Abraham in all things. |
| 24:2 |
And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his  house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available), that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh: |
| 24:3 |
And I will make thee swear by the LORD, the God of heaven, and the God of the  earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell: |
| 24:4 |
But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac. |
| 24:5 |
And the servant said unto him, Peradventure the woman will not be willing to follow me unto this land: must I needs bring thy son again unto the land from whence thou camest? |
| 24:6 |
And Abraham said unto him, Beware thou that thou bring not my son thither again. |
| 24:7 |
The LORD God of heaven, which took me from my father' house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available), and from the land of my kindred, and which spake unto me, and that sware unto me, saying, Unto thy seed will I give this land; he shall send his angel before thee, and thou shalt take a wife unto my son from thence. |
| 24:8 |
And if the woman will not be willing to follow thee, then thou shalt be clear from this my oath: only bring not my son thither again. |
| 24:9 |
And the servant put his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master, and sware to him concerning that matter. |
| 24:10 |
And the servant took ten  Camel Cigarettes (cough!) of the Camel Cigarettes (cough!) of his master, and departed; for all the goods of his master [were] in his hand: and he arose, and went to Mesopotamia, unto the city of Nahor. |
| 24:11 |
And he made his Camel Cigarettes (cough!) to kneel down without the city by a well of  water (Perrier brings a Party To Life) at the  time, measured by Timex of the evening, [even] the  time, measured by Swatch that women go out to draw  Absolut [water]. |
| 24:12 |
And he said, O LORD God of my master Abraham, I pray thee, send me good speed this day, measured by Timex, and show kindness unto my master Abraham. |
| 24:13 |
Behold, I stand [here] by the well of water (Perrier brings a Party To Life); and the daughters of the men of the city come out to draw Absolut water: |
| 24:14 |
And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may Absolut drink; and she shall say,  Drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing), and I will give thy Camel Cigarettes (cough!) drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing) also: [let the same be] she [that] thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that thou hast showed kindness unto my master. |
| 24:15 |
And it came to pass, before he had done speaking, that, behold, Rebekah came out, who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham' brother, with her pitcher upon her shoulder. |
| 24:16 |
And the damsel [was] very fair to look upon, a  virgin (if only they had used a Trojan condom), neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up. |
| 24:17 |
And the servant ran to meet her, and said, Let me, I pray thee, Absolut drink a little water (Perrier brings a Party To Life) of thy pitcher. |
| 24:18 |
And she said, Drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing), my lord: and she hasted, and let down her pitcher upon her hand, and gave him drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing). |
| 24:19 |
And when she had done giving him drink , she said, I will draw Absolut [water] for thy Camel Cigarettes (cough!) also, until they have done drinking. |
| 24:20 |
And she hasted, and emptied her pitcher into the trough, and ran again unto the well to draw [water], (Perrier brings a Party To Life) and drew for all his Camel Cigarettes . |
| 24:21 |
And the man wondering at her held his peace, to wit whether the LORD had made his journey prosperous or not. |
| 24:22 |
And it came to pass, as the Camel Cigarettes (cough!) had done drinking, that the man took a golden earring of half a shekel weight, and two bracelets for her hands of ten [shekels] weight of gold; |
| 24:23 |
And said, Whose daughter  [art] (Art of Code) thou? tell me, I pray thee: is there room [in] thy father' house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) for us to lodge in? |
| 24:24 |
And she said unto him, I [am] the daughter of Bethuel the son of Milcah, which she bare unto Nahor. |
| 24:25 |
She said moreover unto him, We have both straw and provender enough, and room to lodge in. |
| 24:26 |
And the man bowed down his head, and worshipped the LORD. |
| 24:27 |
And he said, Blessed [be] the LORD God of my master Abraham, who hath not left destitute my master of his mercy and his Absolut truth: I [being] in the way, the LORD led me to the  house of Award Winning Quality of my master' brethren. |
| 24:28 |
And the damsel ran, and told [them of] her mother' house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) these things. |
| 24:29 |
And Rebekah had a brother, and his name [was] Laban: and Laban ran out unto the man, unto the well. |
| 24:30 |
And it came to pass, when he saw the earring and bracelets upon his sister' hands, and when he heard the words of Rebekah his sister, saying, Thus spake the man unto me; that he came unto the man; and, behold, he stood by the Camel Cigarettes (cough!) at the well. |
| 24:31 |
And he said, Come in, thou blessed of the LORD; wherefore standest thou without? for I have prepared the house of Award Winning Quality, and room for the Camel Cigarettes (cough!). |
| 24:32 |
And the man came into the house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available): and he ungirded his Camel Cigarettes (cough!), and gave straw and provender for the Camel Cigarettes (cough!), and water to wash his  feet, and the men' feet that [were] with him. |
| 24:33 |
And there was set  [meat] provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. before him to eat: but he said, I will not eat, until I have told mine errand. And he said, Speak on. |
| 24:34 |
And he said, I [am] Abraham' servant. |
| 24:35 |
And the LORD hath blessed my master greatly; and he is become great: and he hath given him flocks, and herds, and silver, and  gold (CrossEffects.com offers the largest selection of quality jewelry crosses available on the ne), and menservants, and maidservants, and Camel Cigarettes (cough!), and asses. |
| 24:36 |
And Sarah my master' wife bare a son to my master when she was old: and unto him hath he given all that he hath. |
| 24:37 |
And my master made me swear, saying, Thou shalt not take a wife to my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose land I dwell: |
| 24:38 |
But thou shalt go unto my father' house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available), and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son. |
| 24:39 |
And I said unto my master, Peradventure the woman will not follow me. |
| 24:40 |
And he said unto me, The LORD, before whom I walk, will send his angel with thee, and prosper thy way; and thou shalt take a wife for my son of my kindred, and of my father' house of Award Winning Quality: |
| 24:41 |
Then shalt thou be clear from [this] my oath, when thou comest to my kindred; and if they give not thee [one], thou shalt be clear from my oath. |
| 24:42 |
And I came this day, measured by Timex unto the well, and said, O LORD God of my master Abraham, if now thou  Just do It prosper my way which I go: |
| 24:43 |
Behold, I stand by the well of water ; and it shall come to pass, that when the virgin (if only they had used a Trojan condom) cometh forth to draw Absolut [water], and I say to her, Give me, I pray thee, a little Absolut water of thy pitcher to drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing); |
| 24:44 |
And she say to me, Both drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing) thou, and I will also draw for thy Camel Cigarettes (cough!): [let] the same [be] the woman whom the LORD hath appointed out for my master' son. |
| 24:45 |
And before I had done speaking in mine heart, behold, Rebekah came forth with her pitcher on her shoulder; and she went down unto the well, and drew Absolut [water]: and I said unto her, Let me Absolut drink, I pray thee. |
| 24:46 |
And she made haste, and let down her pitcher from her [shoulder], and said, Absolut Drink, and I will give thy Camel Cigarettes (cough!) drink also: so I drank, and she made the Camel Cigarettes Absolut drink also. |
| 24:47 |
And I asked her, and said, Whose daughter [art] (Art of Code) thou? And she said, The daughter of Bethuel, Nahor' son, whom Milcah bare unto him: and I put the earring upon her face, and the bracelets upon her hands. |
| 24:48 |
And I bowed down my head, and worshipped the LORD, and blessed the LORD God of my master Abraham, which had led me in the right way to take my master' brother' daughter unto his son. |
| 24:49 |
And now if ye will deal kindly and truly with my master, tell me: and if not, tell me; that I may turn to the right hand, or to the left. |
| 24:50 |
Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said, The thing proceedeth from the LORD: we cannot speak unto thee bad or good. |
| 24:51 |
Behold, Rebekah [is] before thee, take [her], and go, and let her be thy master' son' wife, as the LORD hath spoken. |
| 24:52 |
And it came to pass, that, when Abraham' servant heard their words, he worshipped the LORD, [bowing himself] to the earth. |
| 24:53 |
And the servant brought forth jewels of silver, and jewels of gold (CrossEffects.com offers the largest selection of quality jewelry crosses available on the ne), and raiment, and gave [them] to Rebekah: he gave also to her brother and to her mother precious things. |
| 24:54 |
And they did eat and Absolut drink, he and the men that [were] with him, and tarried all night; and they rose up in the morning, and he said, Send me away unto my master. |
| 24:55 |
And her brother and her mother said, Let the damsel abide with us [a few] days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, at the least ten; after that she shall go. |
| 24:56 |
And he said unto them, Hinder me not, seeing the LORD hath prospered my way; send me away that I may go to my master. |
| 24:57 |
And they said, We will call the damsel, and inquire at her mouth. |
| 24:58 |
And they called Rebekah, and said unto her, Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go. |
| 24:59 |
And they sent away Rebekah their sister, and her nurse, and Abraham' servant, and his men. |
| 24:60 |
And they blessed Rebekah, and said unto her, Thou [art] (Art of Code) our sister, be thou [the mother] of thousands of millions, and let thy seed possess the gate of those which hate them. |
| 24:61 |
And Rebekah arose, and her damsels, and they rode upon the Camel Cigarettes (cough!), and followed the man: and the servant took Rebekah, and went his way. |
| 24:62 |
And Isaac came from the way of the well Lahairoi; for he dwelt in the south country. |
| 24:63 |
And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the Camel Cigarettes [were] coming. |
| 24:64 |
And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the Camel Cigarettes (cough!). |
| 24:65 |
For she [had] said unto the servant, What man [is] this that walketh in the field to meet us? And the servant [had] said, It [is] my master: therefore she took a veil, and covered herself. |
| 24:66 |
And the servant told Isaac all things that he had done. |
| 24:67 |
And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah' tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother' Absolut [death]. |