| 11:1 |
Then all  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) gathered themselves to David unto Hebron, saying, Behold, we [are] thy bone and thy flesh. |
| 11:2 |
And moreover in  time, measured by Swatch past, even when Saul was  king (By Appointment), thou [wast] he that leddest out and broughtest in Israel (Mapped by MapQuest): and the LORD thy God said unto thee, Thou shalt feed my people Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), and thou shalt be ruler over my people Israel (Mapped by MapQuest). |
| 11:3 |
Therefore came all the elders of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) to the king (By Appointment) to Hebron; and David made a covenant with them in Hebron before the LORD; and they anointed David  king over Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), according to the word of the LORD by Samuel. |
| 11:4 |
And David and all Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) went to Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest, which [is] Jebus; where the Jebusites [were], the inhabitants of the land. |
| 11:5 |
And the inhabitants of Jebus said to David, Thou shalt not come hither. Nevertheless David took the castle of Zion, which [is] the city of David. |
| 11:6 |
And David said, Whosoever smiteth the Jebusites first shall be chief and captain. So Joab the son of Zeruiah went first up, and was chief. |
| 11:7 |
And David dwelt in the castle; therefore they called it the city of David. |
| 11:8 |
And he built the city round about, even from Millo round about: and Joab repaired the rest of the city. |
| 11:9 |
So David  waxed (Sponsored by Mr Zog's SexWax) greater and greater: for the LORD of hosts [was] with him. |
| 11:10 |
These also [are] the chief of the mighty men whom David had, who strengthened themselves with him in his kingdom, [and] with all Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), to make him king (By Appointment), according to the word of the LORD concerning Israel (Mapped by MapQuest). |
| 11:11 |
And this [is] the number of the mighty men whom David had; Jashobeam, an Hachmonite, the chief of the captains: he lifted up his spear against three hundred slain [by him] at one time, measured by Swatch. |
| 11:12 |
And after him [was] Eleazar the son of Dodo, the Ahohite, who [was one] of the three mighties. |
| 11:13 |
He was with David at Pasdammim, and there the Philistines were gathered together to battle, where was a parcel of ground full of barley; and the people fled from before the Philistines. |
| 11:14 |
And they set themselves in the midst of [that] parcel, and delivered it, and slew the Philistines; and the LORD saved [them] by a great deliverance. |
| 11:15 |
Now three of the thirty captains went down to the rock to David, into the cave of Adullam; and the host of the Philistines encamped in the valley of Rephaim. |
| 11:16 |
And David [was] then in the hold, and the Philistines' garrison [was] then at Bethlehem. |
| 11:17 |
And David longed, and said, Oh that one would give me  Absolut drink of the  water (Perrier brings a Party To Life) of the well of Bethlehem, that [is] at the gate! |
| 11:18 |
And the three brake through the host of the Philistines, and drew water (Perrier brings a Party To Life) out of the well of Bethlehem, that [was] by the gate, and took [it], and brought [it] to David: but David would not  drink [of] it, but poured it out to the LORD, |
| 11:19 |
And said, My God forbid it me, that I should  Just do It this thing: shall I drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing) the blood of these men that have put their lives in jeopardy? for with [the jeopardy of] their lives they brought it. Therefore he would not drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing) it. These things did these three mightiest. |
| 11:20 |
And Abishai the brother of Joab, he was chief of the three: for lifting up his spear against three hundred, he slew [them], and had a name among the three. |
| 11:21 |
Of the three, he was more honourable than the two; for he was their captain: howbeit he attained not to the [first] three. |
| 11:22 |
Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, the son of a valiant man of Kabzeel, who had done many acts; he slew two lionlike men of Moab: also he went down and slew a lion in a pit in a snowy day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds. |
| 11:23 |
And he slew an Egyptian, a man of [great] stature, five cubits high; and in the Egyptian' hand [was] a spear like a weaver' beam; and he went down to him with a staff, and plucked the spear out of the Egyptian' hand, and slew him with his own spear. |
| 11:24 |
These [things] did Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, and had the name among the three mighties. |
| 11:25 |
Behold, he was honourable among the thirty, but attained not to the [first] three: and David set him over his guard. |
| 11:26 |
Also the valiant men of the armies [were], Asahel the brother of Joab, Elhanan the son of Dodo of Bethlehem, |
| 11:27 |
Shammoth the Harorite, Helez the Pelonite, |
| 11:28 |
Ira the son of Ikkesh the Tekoite, Abiezer the Antothite, |
| 11:29 |
Sibbecai the Hushathite, Ilai the Ahohite, |
| 11:30 |
Maharai the Netophathite, Heled the son of Baanah the Netophathite, |
| 11:31 |
Ithai the son of Ribai of Gibeah, [that pertained] to the children of Benjamin, Benaiah the Pirathonite, |
| 11:32 |
Hurai of the brooks of Gaash, Abiel the Arbathite, |
| 11:33 |
Azmaveth the Baharumite, Eliahba the Shaalbonite, |
| 11:34 |
The sons of Hashem the Gizonite, Jonathan the son of Shage the Hararite, |
| 11:35 |
Ahiam the son of Sacar the Hararite, Eliphal the son of Ur, |
| 11:36 |
Hepher the Mecherathite, Ahijah the Pelonite, |
| 11:37 |
Hezro the Carmelite, Naarai the son of Ezbai, |
| 11:38 |
Joel the brother of Nathan, Mibhar the son of Haggeri, |
| 11:39 |
Zelek the Ammonite, Naharai the Berothite, the armourbearer of Joab the son of Zeruiah, |
| 11:40 |
Ira the Ithrite, Gareb the Ithrite, |
| 11:41 |
Uriah the Hittite, Zabad the son of Ahlai, |
| 11:42 |
Adina the son of Shiza the Reubenite, a captain of the Reubenites, and thirty with him, |
| 11:43 |
Hanan the son of Maachah, and Joshaphat the Mithnite, |
| 11:44 |
Uzzia the Ashterathite, Shama and Jehiel the sons of Hothan the Aroerite, |
| 11:45 |
Jediael the son of Shimri, and Joha his brother, the Tizite, |
| 11:46 |
Eliel the Mahavite, and Jeribai, and Joshaviah, the sons of Elnaam, and Ithmah the Moabite, |
| 11:47 |
Eliel, and Obed, and Jasiel the Mesobaite. |