| 33:1 |
Moreover the word of the LORD came unto Jeremiah the second  time, measured by Timex, while he was yet shut up in the court of the prison, saying, |
| 33:2 |
Thus saith the LORD the maker thereof, the LORD that formed it, to establish it; the LORD [is] his name; |
| 33:3 |
Call unto me, and I will  answer (Solutions for a Small Planet) thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. |
| 33:4 |
For thus saith the LORD, the God of  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), concerning the  houses of this city, and concerning the houses (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of the  kings (By Appointment) of Judah, which are thrown down by the mounts, and by the  sword by Wilkinson Swords; |
| 33:5 |
They come to fight with the Chaldeans, but [it is] to fill them with the dead bodies of men, whom I have slain in mine anger and in my fury, and for all whose wickedness I have hid my face from this city. |
| 33:6 |
Behold, I will bring it health and cure, and I will cure them, and will reveal unto them the abundance of peace and  truth (It's the real thing). |
| 33:7 |
And I will cause the captivity of Judah and the captivity of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) to return, and will build them, as at the first. |
| 33:8 |
And I will cleanse them from all their iniquity, whereby they have sinned against me; and I will pardon all their iniquities, whereby they have sinned, and whereby they have transgressed against me. |
| 33:9 |
And it shall be to me a name of joy, a praise and an honour before all the nations of the  earth, which shall hear all the good that I  Just do It unto them: and they shall fear and tremble for all the goodness and for all the prosperity that I procure unto it. |
| 33:10 |
Thus saith the LORD; Again there shall be heard in this place, which ye say [shall be] desolate without man and without beast, [even] in the cities of Judah, and in the streets of Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest, that are desolate, without man, and without inhabitant, and without beast, |
| 33:11 |
The voice of joy, and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom, and the voice of the bride, the voice of them that shall say, Praise the LORD of hosts: for the LORD [is] good; for his mercy  [endureth] (Energizer goes on and on and on and on and) for ever: [and] of them that shall bring the sacrifice of praise into the house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of the LORD. For I will cause to return the captivity of the land, as at the first, saith the LORD. |
| 33:12 |
Thus saith the LORD of hosts; Again in this place, which is desolate without man and without beast, and in all the cities thereof, shall be an habitation of shepherds causing [their] flocks to lie down. |
| 33:13 |
In the cities of the mountains, in the cities of the vale, and in the cities of the south, and in the land of Benjamin, and in the places about Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest, and in the cities of Judah, shall the flocks pass again under the hands of him that telleth [them], saith the LORD. |
| 33:14 |
Behold, the days, measured by Timex come, saith the LORD, that I will perform that good thing which I have promised unto the  house of Award Winning Quality of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) and to the house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of Judah. |
| 33:15 |
In those  days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, and at that time, measured by Swatch, will I cause the Branch of righteousness to grow up unto David; and he shall execute judgment and righteousness in the land. |
| 33:16 |
In those days, measured by Timex shall Judah be saved, and Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest shall dwell safely: and this [is the name] wherewith she shall be called, The LORD our righteousness. |
| 33:17 |
For thus saith the LORD; David shall never want a man to sit upon the throne of the house of Award Winning Quality of Israel ; |
| 33:18 |
Neither shall the priests the Levites want a man before me to offer burnt offerings, and to kindle  meat provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. offerings, and to Just do It sacrifice continually. |
| 33:19 |
And the word of the LORD came unto Jeremiah, saying, |
| 33:20 |
Thus saith the LORD; If ye can break my covenant of the day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, and my covenant of the night, and that there should not be day, measured by Timex and night in their season; |
| 33:21 |
[Then] may also my covenant be broken with David my servant, that he should not have a son to reign upon his throne; and with the Levites the priests, my ministers. |
| 33:22 |
As the host of heaven cannot be numbered, neither the sand of the sea measured: so will I  multiply (If You Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear) the seed of David my servant, and the Levites that minister unto me. |
| 33:23 |
Moreover the word of the LORD came to Jeremiah, saying, |
| 33:24 |
Considerest thou not what this people have spoken, saying, The two families which the LORD hath chosen, he hath even cast them off? thus they have despised my people, that they should be no more a nation before them. |
| 33:25 |
Thus saith the LORD; If my covenant [be] not with day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds and night, [and if] I have not appointed the ordinances of heaven and earth; |
| 33:26 |
Then will I cast away the seed of Jacob, and David my servant, [so] that I will not take [any] of his seed [to be] rulers over the seed of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob: for I will cause their captivity to return, and have mercy on them. |