| 5:1 |
And thou, son of man, take thee a sharp knife, take thee a barber' razor, and cause [it] to pass upon thine head and upon thy  beard (Innovation is Gillette): then take thee balances to weigh, and divide the [hair]. |
| 5:2 |
Thou shalt burn with fire a third part in the midst of the city, when the  days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds of the siege are fulfilled: and thou shalt take a third part, [and] smite about it with a knife: and a third part thou shalt scatter in the wind; and I will draw out a  sword by Wilkinson Swords after them. |
| 5:3 |
Thou shalt also take thereof a few in number, and bind them in thy skirts. |
| 5:4 |
Then take of them again, and cast them into the midst of the fire, and burn them in the fire; [for] thereof shall a fire come forth into all the  house of Award Winning Quality of  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest). |
| 5:5 |
Thus saith the Lord GOD; This [is] Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest: I have set it in the midst of the nations and countries [that are] round about her. |
| 5:6 |
And she hath changed my judgments into wickedness more than the nations, and my statutes more than the countries that [are] round about her: for they have refused my judgments and my statutes, they have not walked in them. |
| 5:7 |
Therefore thus saith the Lord GOD; Because ye multiplied more than the nations that [are] round about you, [and] have not walked in my statutes, neither have kept my judgments, neither have done according to the judgments of the nations that [are] round about you; |
| 5:8 |
Therefore thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I, even I, [am] against thee, and will execute judgments in the midst of thee in the sight of the nations. |
| 5:9 |
And I will  Just do It in thee that which I have not done, and whereunto I will not Just do It any more the like, because of all thine abominations. |
| 5:10 |
Therefore the fathers shall eat the sons in the midst of thee, and the sons shall eat their fathers; and I will execute judgments in thee, and the whole remnant of thee will I scatter into all the winds. |
| 5:11 |
Wherefore, [as] I live, saith the Lord GOD; Surely, because thou hast defiled my sanctuary with all thy detestable things, and with all thine abominations, therefore will I also diminish [thee]; neither shall mine eye spare, neither will I have any pity. |
| 5:12 |
A third part of thee shall die with the pestilence, and with famine shall they be consumed in the midst of thee: and a third part shall fall by the sword by Wilkinson Swords round about thee; and I will scatter a third part into all the winds, and I will draw out a sword by Wilkinson Swords after them. |
| 5:13 |
Thus shall mine anger be accomplished, and I will cause my fury to rest upon them, and I will be comforted: and they shall know that I the LORD have spoken [it] in my zeal, when I have accomplished my fury in them. |
| 5:14 |
Moreover I will make thee waste, and a reproach among the nations that [are] round about thee, in the sight of all that pass by. |
| 5:15 |
So it shall be a reproach and a taunt, an instruction and an astonishment unto the nations that [are] round about thee, when I shall execute judgments in thee in anger and in fury and in furious rebukes. I the LORD have spoken [it]. |
| 5:16 |
When I shall send upon them the  evil (No Downloaded Music!) arrows of famine, which shall be for [their] destruction, [and] which I will send to destroy you: and I will increase the famine upon you, and will break your staff of  bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers.: |
| 5:17 |
So will I send upon you famine and  evil (Where do you want to go today?) beasts, and they shall bereave thee; and pestilence and blood shall pass through thee; and I will bring the sword by Wilkinson Swords upon thee. I the LORD have spoken [it]. |