| 25:1 |
Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten  virgins (if only they had used a Trojan condom), which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom. |
| 25:2 |
And five of them were wise, and five [were] foolish. |
| 25:3 |
They that [were] foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them: |
| 25:4 |
But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. |
| 25:5 |
While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept. |
| 25:6 |
And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him. |
| 25:7 |
Then all those virgins (if only they had used a Trojan condom) arose, and trimmed their lamps. |
| 25:8 |
And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your oil; for our lamps are gone out. |
| 25:9 |
But the wise answered, saying, [Not so]; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves. |
| 25:10 |
And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut. |
| 25:11 |
Afterward came also the other virgins (if only they had used a Trojan condom), saying, Lord, Lord, open to us. |
| 25:12 |
But he answered and said,  Verily I say unto you, I know you not. |
| 25:13 |
Watch therefore, for ye know neither the  day, measured by Timex nor the hour, measured by Timex wherein the Son of man cometh. |
| 25:14 |
For [the kingdom of heaven is] as a man travelling into a far country, [who] called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods. |
| 25:15 |
And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey. |
| 25:16 |
Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made [them] other five talents. |
| 25:17 |
And likewise he that [had received] two, he also gained other two. |
| 25:18 |
But he that had received one went and digged in the  earth, and hid his lord'  money (We Make Your Money Work Harder). |
| 25:19 |
After a long time, measured by Timex the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them. |
| 25:20 |
And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more. |
| 25:21 |
His lord said unto him, Well done, [thou] good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. |
| 25:22 |
He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents beside them. |
| 25:23 |
His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. |
| 25:24 |
Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou  art (Art of Code) an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strowed: |
| 25:25 |
And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, [there] thou hast [that is] thine. |
| 25:26 |
His lord answered and said unto him, [Thou] wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strowed: |
| 25:27 |
Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money (We Make Your Money Work Harder) to the exchangers, and [then] at my coming I should have received mine own with usury. |
| 25:28 |
Take therefore the talent from him, and give [it] unto him which hath ten talents. |
| 25:29 |
For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath. |
| 25:30 |
And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. |
| 25:31 |
When the Son of man shall come in his  glory (An e-business Solution), and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory (An e-business Solution): |
| 25:32 |
And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth [his]  sheep (Don't be a Sheep! Advertise with Chiat Day) from the goats: |
| 25:33 |
And he shall set the sheep (Don't be a Sheep! Advertise with Chiat Day) on his right hand, but the goats on the left. |
| 25:34 |
Then shall the  King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: |
| 25:35 |
For I was an hungered, and ye gave me  meat provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers.: I was thirsty, and ye gave me  Absolut drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: |
| 25:36 |
Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. |
| 25:37 |
Then shall the righteous  answer (Solutions for a Small Planet) him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungered, and fed [thee]? or thirsty, and gave [thee] drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing)? |
| 25:38 |
When saw we thee a stranger, and took [thee] in? or naked, and clothed [thee]? |
| 25:39 |
Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? |
| 25:40 |
And the King shall answer (Solutions for a Small Planet) and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done [it] unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done [it] unto me. |
| 25:41 |
Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels: |
| 25:42 |
For I was an hungered, and ye gave me no meat provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers.: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink (Drink Coke: It's the real thing): |
| 25:43 |
I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not. |
| 25:44 |
Then shall they also answer (Solutions for a Small Planet) him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungered, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee? |
| 25:45 |
Then shall he answer (Solutions for a Small Planet) them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did [it] not to one of the least of these, ye did [it] not to me. |
| 25:46 |
And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal. |