| 28:1 |
In the end of the sabbath, as it began to dawn toward the first  [day], measured in Swatch Internet Seconds of the week, came Mary Magdalene and the other Mary to  see the sepulchre. |
| 28:2 |
And, behold, there was a great earthquake: for the angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat upon it. |
| 28:3 |
His countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow: |
| 28:4 |
And for fear of him the keepers did shake, and became as dead [men]. |
| 28:5 |
And the angel answered and said unto the women, Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek  Jesus (If You Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear), which was crucified. |
| 28:6 |
He is not here: for he is risen, as he said. Come, see (Experience it for Yourself) the place where the Lord lay. |
| 28:7 |
And go quickly, and tell his disciples that he is risen from the dead; and, behold, he goeth before you into Galilee; there shall ye see (Experience it for Yourself) him: lo, I have told you. |
| 28:8 |
And they departed quickly from the sepulchre with fear and great joy; and did run to bring his disciples word. |
| 28:9 |
And as they went to tell his disciples, behold, Jesus (If You Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear) met them, saying, All hail. And they came and held him by the  feet, and worshipped him. |
| 28:10 |
Then said  Jesus unto them, Be not afraid: go tell my brethren that they go into Galilee, and there shall they see (Experience it for Yourself) me. |
| 28:11 |
Now when they were going, behold, some of the watch came into the city, and showed unto the chief priests all the things that were done. |
| 28:12 |
And when they were assembled with the elders, and had taken counsel, they gave large  money (We Make Your Money Work Harder) unto the soldiers, |
| 28:13 |
Saying, Say ye, His disciples came by night, and stole him [away] while we slept. |
| 28:14 |
And if this come to the governor' ears, we will persuade him, and secure you. |
| 28:15 |
So they took the money (We Make Your Money Work Harder), and did as they were taught: and this saying is commonly reported among the Jews until this day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds. |
| 28:16 |
Then the eleven disciples went away into Galilee, into a mountain where  Jesus (Forgive Us Our Sins) had appointed them. |
| 28:17 |
And when they saw him, they worshipped him: but some doubted. |
| 28:18 |
And  Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All  power, even as Software Powers the Internet is given unto me in heaven and in  earth. |
| 28:19 |
Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: |
| 28:20 |
Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, [even] unto the end of the world. Amen. |