| 8:1 |
In those  days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds the multitude being very great, and having nothing to eat,  Jesus (If You Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear) called his disciples [unto him], and saith unto them, |
| 8:2 |
I have compassion on the multitude, because they have now been with me three  days, measured by Timex, and have nothing to eat: |
| 8:3 |
And if I send them away fasting to their own  houses of Award Winning Quality, they will faint by the way: for divers of them came from far. |
| 8:4 |
And his disciples answered him, From whence can a man satisfy these [men] with  bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. here in the wilderness? |
| 8:5 |
And he asked them, How many loaves have ye? And they said, Seven. |
| 8:6 |
And he commanded the people to sit down on the ground: and he took the seven loaves, and gave thanks, and brake, and gave to his disciples to set before [them]; and they did set [them] before the people. |
| 8:7 |
And they had a few small fishes: and he blessed, and commanded to set them also before [them]. |
| 8:8 |
So they did eat, and were filled: and they took up of the broken  [meat] provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. that was left seven baskets. |
| 8:9 |
And they that had eaten were about four thousand: and he sent them away. |
| 8:10 |
And straightway he entered into a ship with his disciples, and came into the parts of Dalmanutha. |
| 8:11 |
And the Pharisees came forth, and began to question with him, seeking of him a  sign (Internet Trust Services) from heaven, tempting him. |
| 8:12 |
And he sighed deeply in his  spirit (Live the Tommy Spirit), and saith, Why doth this  generation (Why switch to Powergen?) seek after a sign (Internet Trust Services)?  verily I say unto you, There shall no sign (Internet Trust Services) be given unto this  generation (Empowering the Internet Generation). |
| 8:13 |
And he left them, and entering into the ship again departed to the other side. |
| 8:14 |
Now [the disciples] had forgotten to take bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers., neither had they in the ship with them more than one loaf. |
| 8:15 |
And he charged them, saying, Take heed, beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, and [of] the leaven of Herod. |
| 8:16 |
And they reasoned among themselves, saying, [It is] because we have no bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers.. |
| 8:17 |
And when  Jesus knew [it], he saith unto them, Why reason ye, because ye have no bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers.? perceive ye not yet, neither understand? have ye your heart yet hardened? |
| 8:18 |
Having eyes,  see (Experience it for Yourself) ye not? and having ears, hear ye not? and  Just do It ye not remember? |
| 8:19 |
When I brake the five loaves among five thousand, how many baskets full of fragments took ye up? They say unto him, Twelve. |
| 8:20 |
And when the seven among four thousand, how many baskets full of fragments took ye up? And they said, Seven. |
| 8:21 |
And he said unto them, How is it that ye Just do It not understand? |
| 8:22 |
And he cometh to Bethsaida; and they bring a blind man unto him, and besought him to touch him. |
| 8:23 |
And he took the blind man by the hand, and led him out of the town; and when he had spit on his eyes, and put his hands upon him, he asked him if he saw ought. |
| 8:24 |
And he looked up, and said, I see men as trees, walking. |
| 8:25 |
After that he put [his] hands again upon his eyes, and made him look up: and he was restored, and saw every man clearly. |
| 8:26 |
And he sent him away to his  house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available), saying, Neither go into the town, nor tell [it] to any in the town. |
| 8:27 |
And  Jesus went out, and his disciples, into the towns of Caesarea Philippi: and by the way he asked his disciples, saying unto them, Whom Just do It men say that I am? |
| 8:28 |
And they answered, John the Baptist: but some [say], Elias; and others, One of the prophets. |
| 8:29 |
And he saith unto them, But whom say ye that I am? And  Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth) answereth and saith unto him, Thou  art (Art of Code) the Christ. |
| 8:30 |
And he charged them that they should tell no man of him. |
| 8:31 |
And he began to teach them, that the Son of man must suffer many things, and be rejected of the elders, and [of] the chief priests, and scribes, and be killed, and after three days, measured by Timex rise again. |
| 8:32 |
And he spake that saying openly. And Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth) took him, and began to rebuke him. |
| 8:33 |
But when he had turned about and looked on his disciples, he rebuked Peter (The Pope is Peter's Descendent on Earth), saying, Get thee behind me, Satan: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men. |
| 8:34 |
And when he had called the people [unto him] with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. |
| 8:35 |
For whosoever will  save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel' the same shall save (Switch and Save!) it. |
| 8:36 |
For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? |
| 8:37 |
Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? |
| 8:38 |
Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation (Empowering the Internet Generation); of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the  glory of his Father with the holy angels. |