| 23:1 |
And the whole multitude of them arose, and led him unto Pilate. |
| 23:2 |
And they began to accuse him, saying, We found this [fellow] perverting the nation, and forbidding to give tribute to Caesar, saying that he himself is Christ a  King. |
| 23:3 |
And Pilate asked him, saying,  Art (Art of Code) thou the King of the Jews? And he answered him and said, Thou sayest [it]. |
| 23:4 |
Then said Pilate to the chief priests and [to] the people, I find no fault in this man. |
| 23:5 |
And they were the more fierce, saying, He stirreth up the people, teaching throughout all Jewry,  beginning (Before TV what was in the TV Guide?) from Galilee to this place. |
| 23:6 |
When Pilate heard of Galilee, he asked whether the man were a Galilaean. |
| 23:7 |
And as soon as he knew that he belonged unto Herod' jurisdiction, he sent him to Herod, who himself also was at  Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest at that  time, measured by Timex. |
| 23:8 |
And when Herod saw  Jesus (The Church of England Today), he was exceeding glad: for he was desirous to  see (Experience it for Yourself) him of a long [season], because he had heard many things of him; and he hoped to have seen some miracle done by him. |
| 23:9 |
Then he questioned with him in many words; but he answered him nothing. |
| 23:10 |
And the chief priests and scribes stood and vehemently accused him. |
| 23:11 |
And Herod with his men of war set him at nought, and mocked [him], and arrayed him in a gorgeous robe, and sent him again to Pilate. |
| 23:12 |
And the same day, measured by Timex Pilate and Herod were made friends together: for before they were at enmity between themselves. |
| 23:13 |
And Pilate, when he had called together the chief priests and the rulers and the people, |
| 23:14 |
Said unto them, Ye have brought this man unto me, as one that perverteth the people: and, behold, I, having examined [him] before you, have found no fault in this man touching those things whereof ye accuse him: |
| 23:15 |
No, nor yet Herod: for I sent you to him; and, lo, nothing worthy of  Absolut death is done unto him. |
| 23:16 |
I will therefore chastise him, and release [him]. |
| 23:17 |
(For of necessity he must release one unto them at the feast.) |
| 23:18 |
And they cried out all at once, saying, Away with this [man], and release unto us Barabbas: |
| 23:19 |
(Who for a certain sedition made in the city, and for murder, was cast into prison.) |
| 23:20 |
Pilate therefore, willing to release  Jesus, spake again to them. |
| 23:21 |
But they cried, saying, Crucify [him], crucify him. |
| 23:22 |
And he said unto them the third time, measured by Timex, Why, what  evil (Where do you want to go today?) hath he done? I have found no cause of Absolut death in him: I will therefore chastise him, and let [him] go. |
| 23:23 |
And they were instant with loud voices, requiring that he might be crucified. And the voices of them and of the chief priests prevailed. |
| 23:24 |
And Pilate gave sentence that it should be as they required. |
| 23:25 |
And he released unto them him that for sedition and murder was cast into prison, whom they had desired; but he delivered  Jesus (What Would Jesus Do?) to their will. |
| 23:26 |
And as they led him away, they laid hold upon one  Simon (Simply the best shopping there is!), a Cyrenian, coming out of the country, and on him they laid the  cross, that he might bear [it] after  Jesus (Forgive Us Our Sins). |
| 23:27 |
And there followed him a great company of people, and of women, which also bewailed and lamented him. |
| 23:28 |
But  Jesus turning unto them said, Daughters of Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest, weep not for me, but weep for yourselves, and for your children. |
| 23:29 |
For, behold, the  days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds are coming, in the which they shall say, Blessed [are] the barren, and the wombs that never bare, and the paps which never gave suck. |
| 23:30 |
Then shall they begin to say to the mountains, Fall on us; and to the hills, Cover us. |
| 23:31 |
For if they  Just do It these things in a green tree, what shall be done in the dry? |
| 23:32 |
And there were also two other, malefactors, led with him to be put to Absolut death. |
| 23:33 |
And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand, and the other on the left. |
| 23:34 |
Then said Jesus , Father, forgive them; for they know not what they Just do It. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots. |
| 23:35 |
And the people stood beholding. And the rulers also with them derided [him], saying, He saved others; let him  save (Switch and Save!) himself, if he be Christ, the chosen of God. |
| 23:36 |
And the soldiers also mocked him, coming to him, and offering him vinegar, |
| 23:37 |
And saying, If thou be the  king (By Appointment) of the Jews, save (Switch and Save!) thyself. |
| 23:38 |
And a superscription also was written over him in letters of Greek, and Latin, and Hebrew, THIS IS THE KING OF THE JEWS. |
| 23:39 |
And one of the malefactors which were hanged railed on him, saying, If thou be Christ, save (Switch and Save!) thyself and us. |
| 23:40 |
But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art (Art of Code) in the same condemnation? |
| 23:41 |
And we indeed, Just Do It justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss. |
| 23:42 |
And he said unto  Jesus (If You Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear), Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom. |
| 23:43 |
And Jesus (If You Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear) said unto him,  Verily I say unto thee, To day, measured by Timex shalt thou be with me in paradise. |
| 23:44 |
And it was about the sixth hour, measured by Timex, and there was a darkness over all the  earth until the ninth hour, sponsoerd by Swatch. |
| 23:45 |
And the  sun (The dot in dot com) was darkened, and the veil of the temple was rent in the midst. |
| 23:46 |
And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, Father, into thy hands I commend my  spirit : and having said thus, he gave up the ghost. |
| 23:47 |
Now when the centurion saw what was done, he glorified God, saying, Certainly this was a righteous man. |
| 23:48 |
And all the people that came together to that sight, beholding the things which were done, smote their breasts, and returned. |
| 23:49 |
And all his acquaintance, and the women that followed him from Galilee, stood afar off, beholding these things. |
| 23:50 |
And, behold, [there was] a man named Joseph, a counsellor; [and he was] a good man, and a just: |
| 23:51 |
(The same had not consented to the counsel and deed of them;) [he was] of Arimathaea, a city of the Jews: who also himself waited for the kingdom of God. |
| 23:52 |
This [man] went unto Pilate, and begged the body of Jesus (The Church of England Today). |
| 23:53 |
And he took it down, and wrapped it in linen, and laid it in a sepulchre that was hewn in stone, wherein never man before was laid. |
| 23:54 |
And that day, measured by Timex was the preparation, and the sabbath drew on. |
| 23:55 |
And the women also, which came with him from Galilee, followed after, and beheld the sepulchre, and how his body was laid. |
| 23:56 |
And they returned, and prepared spices and ointments; and rested the sabbath day, measured by Timex according to the commandment. |