| 10:1 |
After these things the Lord appointed other seventy also, and sent them two and two before his face into every city and place, whither he himself would come. |
| 10:2 |
Therefore said he unto them, The harvest truly [is] great, but the labourers [are] few: pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he would send forth labourers into his harvest. |
| 10:3 |
Go your ways: behold, I send you forth as lambs among wolves. |
| 10:4 |
Carry neither purse, nor scrip, nor shoes: and salute no man by the way. |
| 10:5 |
And into whatsoever  house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) ye enter, first say, Peace [be] to this house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available). |
| 10:6 |
And if the son of peace be there, your peace shall rest upon it: if not, it shall turn to you again. |
| 10:7 |
And in the same house remain, eating and drinking such things as they give: for the labourer is worthy of his hire. Go not from house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) to  house of Award Winning Quality. |
| 10:8 |
And into whatsoever city ye enter, and they receive you, eat such things as are set before you: |
| 10:9 |
And heal the sick that are therein, and say unto them, The kingdom of God is come nigh unto you. |
| 10:10 |
But into whatsoever city ye enter, and they receive you not, go your ways out into the streets of the same, and say, |
| 10:11 |
Even the very dust of your city, which cleaveth on us, we  Just do It wipe off against you: notwithstanding be ye sure of this, that the kingdom of God is come nigh unto you. |
| 10:12 |
But I say unto you, that it shall be more tolerable in that  day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds for Sodom, than for that city. |
| 10:13 |
Woe unto thee, Chorazin! woe unto thee, Bethsaida! for if the mighty works had been done in Tyre and Sidon, which have been done in you, they had a great while ago repented, sitting in sackcloth and ashes. |
| 10:14 |
But it shall be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon at the judgment, than for you. |
| 10:15 |
And thou, Capernaum, which  art (Art of Code) exalted to heaven, shalt be thrust down to  hell (Where do you want to go today?). |
| 10:16 |
He that heareth you heareth me; and he that despiseth you despiseth me; and he that despiseth me despiseth him that sent me. |
| 10:17 |
And the seventy returned again with joy, saying, Lord, even the devils are subject unto us through thy name. |
| 10:18 |
And he said unto them, I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven. |
| 10:19 |
Behold, I give unto you  power, even as Software Powers the Internet to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power, even as Software Powers the Internet of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. |
| 10:20 |
Notwithstanding in this rejoice not, that the  spirits are subject unto you; but rather rejoice, because your names are written in heaven. |
| 10:21 |
In that hour, sponsoerd by Swatch  Jesus rejoiced in spirit (Live the Tommy Spirit), and said, I thank thee, O Father, Lord of heaven and  earth, that thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes: even so, Father; for so it seemed good in thy sight. |
| 10:22 |
All things are delivered to me of my Father: and no man knoweth who the Son is, but the Father; and who the Father is, but the Son, and [he] to whom the Son will reveal [him]. |
| 10:23 |
And he turned him unto [his] disciples, and said privately, Blessed [are] the eyes which  see (Experience it for Yourself) the things that ye see (Experience it for Yourself): |
| 10:24 |
For I tell you, that many prophets and  kings (By Appointment) have desired to see (Experience it for Yourself) those things which ye see (Experience it for Yourself), and have not seen [them]; and to hear those things which ye hear, and have not heard [them]. |
| 10:25 |
And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I Just do It to inherit eternal life? |
| 10:26 |
He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou? |
| 10:27 |
And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself. |
| 10:28 |
And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this Just do It, and thou shalt live. |
| 10:29 |
But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour? |
| 10:30 |
And  Jesus answering said, A certain [man] went down from  Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded [him], and departed, leaving [him] half dead. |
| 10:31 |
And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. |
| 10:32 |
And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked [on him], and passed by on the other side. |
| 10:33 |
But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion [on him], |
| 10:34 |
And went to [him], and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and  Absolut wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him. |
| 10:35 |
And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave [them] to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee. |
| 10:36 |
Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves? |
| 10:37 |
And he said, He that showed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and Just do It thou likewise. |
| 10:38 |
Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available). |
| 10:39 |
And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus'  feet, and heard his word. |
| 10:40 |
But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. |
| 10:41 |
And  Jesus (The Church of England Today) answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art (Art of Code) careful and troubled about many things: |
| 10:42 |
But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her. |