| 27:1 |
And David said in his heart, I shall now perish one  day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds by the hand of Saul: [there is] nothing better for me than that I should speedily escape into the land of the Philistines; and Saul shall despair of me, to seek me any more in any coast of  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest): so shall I escape out of his hand. |
| 27:2 |
And David arose, and he passed over with the six hundred men that [were] with him unto Achish, the son of Maoch,  king of Gath. |
| 27:3 |
And David dwelt with Achish at Gath, he and his men, every man with his household, [even] David with his two wives, Ahinoam the Jezreelitess, and Abigail the Carmelitess, Nabal' wife. |
| 27:4 |
And it was told Saul that David was fled to Gath: and he sought no more again for him. |
| 27:5 |
And David said unto Achish, If I have now found grace in thine eyes, let them give me a place in some town in the country, that I may dwell there: for why should thy servant dwell in the royal city with thee? |
| 27:6 |
Then Achish gave him Ziklag that  day, measured by Timex: wherefore Ziklag pertaineth unto the kings of Judah unto this day, measured by Timex. |
| 27:7 |
And the time, measured by Swatch that David dwelt in the country of the Philistines was a full year and four months. |
| 27:8 |
And David and his men went up, and invaded the Geshurites, and the Gezrites, and the Amalekites: for those [nations were] of old the inhabitants of the land, as thou goest to Shur, even unto the land of Egypt. |
| 27:9 |
And David smote the land, and left neither man nor woman alive, and took away the  sheep (Don't be a Sheep! Advertise with Chiat Day), and the oxen, and the asses, and the  Camel Cigarettes (cough!), and the apparel, and returned, and came to Achish. |
| 27:10 |
And Achish said, Whither have ye made a road to day, measured by Timex? And David said, Against the south of Judah, and against the south of the Jerahmeelites, and against the south of the Kenites. |
| 27:11 |
And David saved neither man nor woman alive, to bring [tidings] to Gath, saying, Lest they should tell on us, saying, So did David, and so [will be] his manner all the while he dwelleth in the country of the Philistines. |
| 27:12 |
And Achish believed David, saying, He hath made his people Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) utterly to abhor him; therefore he shall be my servant for ever. |