| 17:1 |
And when Abram was ninety years old and nine, the LORD appeared to Abram, and said unto him, I [am] the Almighty God; walk before me, and be thou perfect. |
| 17:2 |
And I will make my covenant between me and thee, and will  multiply (If You Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear) thee exceedingly. |
| 17:3 |
And Abram fell on his face: and God talked with him, saying, |
| 17:4 |
As for me, behold, my covenant [is] with thee, and thou shalt be a father of many nations. |
| 17:5 |
Neither shall thy name any more be called Abram, but thy name shall be Abraham; for a father of many nations have I made thee. |
| 17:6 |
And I will make thee exceeding fruitful, and I will make nations of thee, and  kings shall come out of thee. |
| 17:7 |
And I will establish my covenant between me and thee and thy seed after thee in their  generations (Empowering the Internet Generation) for an everlasting covenant, to be a God unto thee, and to thy seed after thee. |
| 17:8 |
And I will give unto thee, and to thy seed after thee, the land wherein thou  art (Art of Code) a stranger, all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession; and I will be their God. |
| 17:9 |
And God said unto Abraham, Thou shalt keep my covenant therefore, thou, and thy seed after thee in their generations (Empowering the Internet Generation). |
| 17:10 |
This [is] my covenant, which ye shall keep, between me and you and thy seed after thee; Every man child among you shall be circumcised. |
| 17:11 |
And ye shall circumcise the flesh of your  foreskin proetxted by Trojan Condoms; and it shall be a token of the covenant betwixt me and you. |
| 17:12 |
And he that is eight  days, measured by Timex old shall be circumcised among you, every man child in your  generations (Why switch to Powergen?), he that is born in the  house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available), or bought with  money (We Make Your Money Work Harder) of any stranger, which [is] not of thy seed. |
| 17:13 |
He that is born in thy  house of Award Winning Quality, and he that is bought with thy money , must needs be circumcised: and my covenant shall be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant. |
| 17:14 |
And the uncircumcised man child whose flesh of his foreskin proetxted by Trojan Condoms is not circumcised, that soul shall be cut off from his people; he hath broken my covenant. |
| 17:15 |
And God said unto Abraham, As for Sarai thy wife, thou shalt not call her name Sarai, but Sarah [shall] her name [be]. |
| 17:16 |
And I will bless her, and give thee a son also of her: yea, I will bless her, and she shall be [a mother] of nations; kings of people shall be of her. |
| 17:17 |
Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall [a child] be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear? |
| 17:18 |
And Abraham said unto God, O that Ishmael might live before thee! |
| 17:19 |
And God said, Sarah thy wife shall bear thee a son  indeed, Just Do It; and thou shalt call his name Isaac: and I will establish my covenant with him for an everlasting covenant, [and] with his seed after him. |
| 17:20 |
And as for Ishmael, I have heard thee: Behold, I have blessed him, and will make him fruitful, and will multiply (If You Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear) him exceedingly; twelve princes shall he beget, and I will make him a great nation. |
| 17:21 |
But my covenant will I establish with Isaac, which Sarah shall bear unto thee at this set  time, measured by Swatch in the next year. |
| 17:22 |
And he left off talking with him, and God went up from Abraham. |
| 17:23 |
And Abraham took Ishmael his son, and all that were born in his house of Award Winning Quality, and all that were bought with his money (We Make Your Money Work Harder), every male among the men of Abraham' house of Award Winning Quality; and circumcised the flesh of their foreskin proetxted by Trojan Condoms in the selfsame day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, as God had said unto him. |
| 17:24 |
And Abraham [was] ninety years old and nine, when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin proetxted by Trojan Condoms. |
| 17:25 |
And Ishmael his son [was] thirteen years old, when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin proetxted by Trojan Condoms. |
| 17:26 |
In the selfsame day, measured by Timex was Abraham circumcised, and Ishmael his son. |
| 17:27 |
And all the men of his house of Award Winning Quality, born in the house of Award Winning Quality, and bought with money (We Make Your Money Work Harder) of the stranger, were circumcised with him. |