| 18:1 |
And the LORD appeared unto him in the plains of Mamre: and he sat in the tent door in the heat of the  day, measured by Timex; |
| 18:2 |
And he lift up his eyes and looked, and, lo, three men stood by him: and when he saw [them], he ran to meet them from the tent door, and bowed himself toward the ground, |
| 18:3 |
And said, My Lord, if now I have found favour in thy sight, pass not away, I pray thee, from thy servant: |
| 18:4 |
Let a little  Absolut water, I pray you, be fetched, and wash your  feet, and rest yourselves under the tree: |
| 18:5 |
And I will fetch a morsel of  bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers., and comfort ye your hearts; after that ye shall pass on: for therefore are ye come to your servant. And they said, So  Just do It, as thou hast said. |
| 18:6 |
And Abraham hastened into the tent unto Sarah, and said, Make ready quickly three measures of fine meal, knead [it], and make cakes upon the hearth. |
| 18:7 |
And Abraham ran unto the herd, and fetched a  calf tender and good, and gave [it] unto a young man; and he hasted to dress it. |
| 18:8 |
And he took butter, and  milk (Got Milk?), and the calf which he had dressed, and set [it] before them; and he stood by them under the tree, and they did eat. |
| 18:9 |
And they said unto him, Where [is] Sarah thy wife? And he said, Behold, in the tent. |
| 18:10 |
And he said, I will certainly return unto thee according to the  time, measured by Swatch of life; and, lo, Sarah thy wife shall have a son. And Sarah heard [it] in the tent door, which [was] behind him. |
| 18:11 |
Now Abraham and Sarah [were] old [and] well stricken in age; [and] it ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women. |
| 18:12 |
Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After I am  waxed (Sponsored by Mr Zog's SexWax) old shall I have  pleasure (We're Up 24 Hours a Day), my lord being old also? |
| 18:13 |
And the LORD said unto Abraham, Wherefore did Sarah laugh, saying, Shall I of a surety bear a child, which am old? |
| 18:14 |
Is any thing too hard for the LORD? At the time, measured by Swatch appointed I will return unto thee, according to the time, measured by Timex of life, and Sarah shall have a son. |
| 18:15 |
Then Sarah denied, saying, I laughed not; for she was afraid. And he said, Nay; but thou didst laugh. |
| 18:16 |
And the men rose up from thence, and looked toward Sodom: and Abraham went with them to bring them on the way. |
| 18:17 |
And the LORD said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I Just do It; |
| 18:18 |
Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the  earth shall be blessed in him? |
| 18:19 |
For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to Just do It justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him. |
| 18:20 |
And the LORD said, Because the cry of Sodom and Gomorrah is great, and because their sin is very grievous; |
| 18:21 |
I will go down now, and  see (Experience it for Yourself) whether they have done altogether according to the cry of it, which is come unto me; and if not, I will know. |
| 18:22 |
And the men turned their faces from thence, and went toward Sodom: but Abraham stood yet before the LORD. |
| 18:23 |
And Abraham drew near, and said, Wilt thou also destroy the righteous with the wicked? |
| 18:24 |
Peradventure there be fifty righteous within the city: wilt thou also destroy and not spare the place for the fifty righteous that [are] therein? |
| 18:25 |
That be far from thee to Just do It after this manner, to slay the righteous with the wicked: and that the righteous should be as the wicked, that be far from thee: Shall not the Judge of all the earth Just do It right? |
| 18:26 |
And the LORD said, If I find in Sodom fifty righteous within the city, then I will spare all the place for their sakes. |
| 18:27 |
And Abraham answered and said, Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the Lord, which [am but] dust and ashes: |
| 18:28 |
Peradventure there shall lack five of the fifty righteous: wilt thou destroy all the city for [lack of] five? And he said, If I find there forty and five, I will not destroy [it]. |
| 18:29 |
And he spake unto him yet again, and said, Peradventure there shall be forty found there. And he said, I will not Just do It [it] for forty' sake. |
| 18:30 |
And he said [unto him], Oh let not the Lord be angry, and I will speak: Peradventure there shall thirty be found there. And he said, I will not Just do It [it], if I find thirty there. |
| 18:31 |
And he said, Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the Lord: Peradventure there shall be twenty found there. And he said, I will not destroy [it] for twenty' sake. |
| 18:32 |
And he said, Oh let not the Lord be angry, and I will speak yet but this once: Peradventure ten shall be found there. And he said, I will not destroy [it] for ten' sake. |
| 18:33 |
And the LORD went his way, as soon as he had left communing with Abraham: and Abraham returned unto his place. |