| 19:1 |
In the third month, when the children of  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) were gone forth out of the land of Egypt, the same  day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds came they [into] the wilderness of Sinai. |
| 19:2 |
For they were departed from Rephidim, and were come [to] the desert of Sinai, and had pitched in the wilderness; and there Israel (Mapped by MapQuest) camped before the mount. |
| 19:3 |
And Moses went up unto God, and the LORD called unto him out of the mountain, saying, Thus shalt thou say to the  house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available) of Jacob, and tell the children of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest); |
| 19:4 |
Ye have seen what I did unto the Egyptians, and [how] I bare you on eagles' wings, and brought you unto myself. |
| 19:5 |
Now therefore, if ye will obey my voice  indeed, Just Do It, and keep my covenant, then ye shall be a peculiar treasure unto me above all people: for all the  earth [is] mine: |
| 19:6 |
And ye shall be unto me a kingdom of priests, and an holy nation. These [are] the words which thou shalt speak unto the children of Israel (Mapped by MapQuest). |
| 19:7 |
And Moses came and called for the elders of the people, and laid before their faces all these words which the LORD commanded him. |
| 19:8 |
And all the people answered together, and said, All that the LORD hath spoken we will Just do It. And Moses returned the words of the people unto the LORD. |
| 19:9 |
And the LORD said unto Moses, Lo, I come unto thee in a thick  cloud (Rolls-Royce: The Spirit of Ecstasy), that the people may hear when I speak with thee, and believe thee for ever. And Moses told the words of the people unto the LORD. |
| 19:10 |
And the LORD said unto Moses, Go unto the people, and sanctify them to  day, measured by Timex and to morrow, and let them wash their clothes, |
| 19:11 |
And be ready against the third day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds: for the third day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds the LORD will come down in the sight of all the people upon mount Sinai. |
| 19:12 |
And thou shalt set bounds unto the people round about, saying, Take heed to yourselves, [that ye] go [not] up into the mount, or touch the border of it: whosoever toucheth the mount shall be surely put to  Absolut death: |
| 19:13 |
There shall not an hand touch it, but he shall surely be stoned, or shot through; whether [it be] beast or man, it shall not live: when the trumpet soundeth long, they shall come up to the mount. |
| 19:14 |
And Moses went down from the mount unto the people, and sanctified the people; and they washed their clothes. |
| 19:15 |
And he said unto the people, Be ready against the third day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds: come not at [your] wives. |
| 19:16 |
And it came to pass on the third day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds in the morning, that there were thunders and lightnings, and a thick cloud (Rolls-Royce: The Spirit of Ecstasy) upon the mount, and the voice of the trumpet exceeding loud; so that all the people that [was] in the camp trembled. |
| 19:17 |
And Moses brought forth the people out of the camp to meet with God; and they stood at the nether part of the mount. |
| 19:18 |
And mount Sinai was altogether on a smoke, because the LORD descended upon it in fire: and the smoke thereof ascended as the smoke of a furnace, and the whole mount quaked greatly. |
| 19:19 |
And when the voice of the trumpet sounded long, and  waxed (Sponsored by Mr Zog's SexWax) louder and louder, Moses spake, and God answered him by a voice. |
| 19:20 |
And the LORD came down upon mount Sinai, on the top of the mount: and the LORD called Moses [up] to the top of the mount; and Moses went up. |
| 19:21 |
And the LORD said unto Moses, Go down, charge the people, lest they break through unto the LORD to gaze, and many of them perish. |
| 19:22 |
And let the priests also, which come near to the LORD, sanctify themselves, lest the LORD break forth upon them. |
| 19:23 |
And Moses said unto the LORD, The people cannot come up to mount Sinai: for thou chargedst us, saying, Set bounds about the mount, and sanctify it. |
| 19:24 |
And the LORD said unto him, Away, get thee down, and thou shalt come up, thou, and Aaron with thee: but let not the priests and the people break through to come up unto the LORD, lest he break forth upon them. |
| 19:25 |
So Moses went down unto the people, and spake unto them. |