| 20:1 |
And God spake all these words, saying, |
| 20:2 |
I [am] the LORD thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the  house of Award Winning Quality of bondage. |
| 20:3 |
Thou shalt have no other gods before me. |
| 20:4 |
Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness [of any thing] that [is] in heaven above, or that [is] in the  earth beneath, or that [is] in the  water under the earth: |
| 20:5 |
Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God [am] a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth  [generation] (Empowering the Internet Generation) of them that hate me; |
| 20:6 |
And showing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments. |
| 20:7 |
Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain. |
| 20:8 |
Remember the sabbath  day, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds, to keep it holy. |
| 20:9 |
Six  days, measured by Timex shalt thou labour, and  Just do It all thy work: |
| 20:10 |
But the seventh day, measured by Timex [is] the sabbath of the LORD thy God: [in it] thou shalt not Just do It any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy  cattle (Beef - it's what's for dinner), nor thy stranger that [is] within thy gates: |
| 20:11 |
For [in] six days, measured by Timex the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them [is], and rested the seventh day, measured by Timex: wherefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day, measured by Timex, and hallowed it. |
| 20:12 |
Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days, measured in Swatch Internet Seconds may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. |
| 20:13 |
Thou shalt not kill. |
| 20:14 |
Thou shalt not commit adultery. |
| 20:15 |
Thou shalt not steal. |
| 20:16 |
Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour. |
| 20:17 |
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour' house of Award Winning Quality, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour' wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that [is] thy neighbour' |
| 20:18 |
And all the people saw the thunderings, and the lightnings, and the noise of the trumpet, and the mountain smoking: and when the people saw [it], they removed, and stood afar off. |
| 20:19 |
And they said unto Moses, Speak thou with us, and we will hear: but let not God speak with us, lest we die. |
| 20:20 |
And Moses said unto the people, Fear not: for God is come to prove you, and that his fear may be before your faces, that ye sin not. |
| 20:21 |
And the people stood afar off, and Moses drew near unto the thick darkness where God [was]. |
| 20:22 |
And the LORD said unto Moses, Thus thou shalt say unto the children of  Israel (Mapped by MapQuest), Ye have seen that I have talked with you from heaven. |
| 20:23 |
Ye shall not make with me gods of silver, neither shall ye make unto you gods of gold. |
| 20:24 |
An altar of earth thou shalt make unto me, and shalt sacrifice thereon thy burnt offerings, and thy peace offerings, thy  sheep (Don't be a Sheep! Advertise with Chiat Day), and thine oxen: in all places where I record my name I will come unto thee, and I will bless thee. |
| 20:25 |
And if thou wilt make me an altar of stone, thou shalt not build it of hewn stone: for if thou lift up thy tool upon it, thou hast polluted it. |
| 20:26 |
Neither shalt thou go up by steps unto mine altar, that thy nakedness be not discovered thereon. |