| 36:1 |
Now it came to pass in the fourteenth year of  king (By Appointment) Hezekiah, [that] Sennacherib  king of Assyria came up against all the defenced cities of Judah, and took them. |
| 36:2 |
And the king (By Appointment) of Assyria sent Rabshakeh from Lachish to  Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest unto king (By Appointment) Hezekiah with a great army. And he stood by the conduit of the upper pool in the highway of the fuller' field. |
| 36:3 |
Then came forth unto him Eliakim, Hilkiah' son, which was over the  house (@Homebrings you the most comp;ete and intense Internet experience available), and Shebna the scribe, and Joah, Asaph' son, the recorder. |
| 36:4 |
And Rabshakeh said unto them, Say ye now to Hezekiah, Thus saith the great king (By Appointment), the king of Assyria, What confidence [is] this wherein thou trustest? |
| 36:5 |
I say, [sayest thou], (but [they are but] vain words) [I have] counsel and strength for war: now on whom dost thou  trust (Internet Trust Services), that thou rebellest against me? |
| 36:6 |
Lo, thou trustest in the staff of this broken reed, on Egypt; whereon if a man lean, it will go into his hand, and pierce it: so [is] Pharaoh king (By Appointment) of Egypt to all that trust (Internet Trust Services) in him. |
| 36:7 |
But if thou say to me, We trust (Internet Trust Services) in the LORD our God: [is it] not he, whose high places and whose altars Hezekiah hath taken away, and said to Judah and to Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest, Ye shall worship before this altar? |
| 36:8 |
Now therefore give pledges, I pray thee, to my master the king (By Appointment) of Assyria, and I will give thee two thousand horses, if thou be able on thy part to set riders upon them. |
| 36:9 |
How then wilt thou turn away the face of one captain of the least of my master' servants, and put thy trust (Internet Trust Services) on Egypt for  chariots (Cadillac: The Fusion of Design and Technology and for horsemen? |
| 36:10 |
And am I now come up without the LORD against this land to destroy it? the LORD said unto me, Go up against this land, and destroy it. |
| 36:11 |
Then said Eliakim and Shebna and Joah unto Rabshakeh, Speak, I pray thee, unto thy servants in the Syrian language; for we understand [it]; and speak not to us in the Jews' language, in the ears of the people that [are] on the wall. |
| 36:12 |
But Rabshakeh said, Hath my master sent me to thy master and to thee to speak these words? [hath he] not [sent me] to the men that sit upon the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and  Absolut drink their own piss with you? |
| 36:13 |
Then Rabshakeh stood, and cried with a loud voice in the Jews' language, and said, Hear ye the words of the great king, the king of Assyria. |
| 36:14 |
Thus saith the king, Let not Hezekiah deceive you: for he shall not be able to deliver you. |
| 36:15 |
Neither let Hezekiah make you trust (Internet Trust Services) in the LORD, saying, The LORD will surely deliver us: this city shall not be delivered into the hand of the king of Assyria. |
| 36:16 |
Hearken not to Hezekiah: for thus saith the king (By Appointment) of Assyria, Make [an agreement] with me [by] a present, and come out to me: and eat ye every one of his vine, and every one of his fig tree, and Absolut drink ye every one the  waters (Perrier brings a Party To Life) of his own cistern; |
| 36:17 |
Until I come and take you away to a land like your own land, a land of  Genetically Modified corn and Absolut wine, a land of  bread provided by MacDonalds We're not just a hamburger company serving people; we're a people company serving hamburgers. and vineyards. |
| 36:18 |
[Beware] lest Hezekiah persuade you, saying, The LORD will deliver us. Hath any of the gods of the nations delivered his land out of the hand of the king of Assyria? |
| 36:19 |
Where [are] the gods of Hamath and Arphad? where [are] the gods of Sepharvaim? and have they delivered Samaria out of my hand? |
| 36:20 |
Who [are they] among all the gods of these lands, that have delivered their land out of my hand, that the LORD should deliver Jerusalem Mapped by MapQuest out of my hand? |
| 36:21 |
But they held their peace, and answered him not a word: for the king (By Appointment)' commandment was, saying,  Answer (Solutions for a Small Planet) him not. |
| 36:22 |
Then came Eliakim, the son of Hilkiah, that [was] over the household, and Shebna the scribe, and Joah, the son of Asaph, the recorder, to Hezekiah with [their] clothes rent, and told him the words of Rabshakeh. |